the same way

you say when i’m like this

(bitter as flower petals and chlorophyll in leaves,

lying through my teeth like a thief,

red as a bruise that swelled,

fragile like the mosaic floor made from eggshells around me)


because i don’t love anyone or anything
but how can that be true
when i’m like this only

when i’m asking you to love me more.
when i think you don’t love me enough.

-this confession begs the question: is that something you’re ready for?

-i could be your diamond in the rough.

(that you can keep,

that’s reflective,

and never breaks)

it’s a promise, on a two-way street.

i’m tired of thinking love conquers all.

Intersection

I was reading something mathematical and got bored, so I wrote this. It’s related to the last post about puzzle pieces and geometry in a very abstract sense. Also, it made me think about going in circles. How those circles turn into spirals and we can’t seem to get out of them. This has a very ‘i will save you/some superhero’ vibe to it and I hope it does save a certain someone, hehe (in my own delusional world of course, a girl can hope).


Because you’re running in circles,

I’m hopeful I’ll catch you someday,

I might be a tangent passing by,

But we’ll meet at a point,

And if you let me,

We can change your trajectory,

And not be bound by geometry.

Don’t be such a
rhombicosidodecahedron with me,

Leave your edges at the door,

We’re two shapes that fit perfectly. Don’t you see?


Thank you for stopping by. Glad to have this intersection. Have a great weekend ahead! (:

The Metamorphosis Series

beautiful spots



A little caterpillar on a big oak tree,
Falling in love with the hide and see,
(finding the best spot for shade,
blending in with the bark, making a small mark).
Turning over a new leaf
Or at least trying, adding belief.
Tumbling from branches, hitting the ground,
Life’s great adventure lies in playing around.
(No creature could have been stiller
when it came to pursuing the big dreams)?

Inching to crawl,
Hearing the call,
(Beyond words and thoughts, it was coming)
Something so deep,
A cry to evolve, a deafening weep.
(A dance within, change was looming in place).

With another slither,
The cocoon whispered, “come hither”
Everything became s l o w,
Sky and sight disappeared.
(All was blank, in this blanket’s show).



over time


Hugging its skin like gentle fluff,
The cocoon became soothing,
Breaking the warmth, becoming rough,
Cold air brushed the new body – blooming.
Like a flower that came to life,
Testing its wings like they were petals,
The butterfly took a flight,
A new world went into view,
The flapping wings appeared blue,
Something ineffable, only divine,
As if nothing could take away its sun-kissed shine,
It floated over the trees,
Tasting nature’s nectar, finally free.
Ready to make another leap,
Fear started to weep.
The adrenaline of truly being alive,
Was such a magical dive.
Something inside was afraid fear would arrive,
But through a smile of the eyes,
And a breath of love,
So many more surprises
Awaited these wings delicately above.



Ace + Aarushi

Ace + Aarushi (🐛🦋)



Thank you Ace for doing this collaboration! I took my sweet time with it, so thank you for being so patient.

Thank you for reading! Hope you liked it ❤️

made up my mind

if I say the right words in a pre-determined order,

I know I can change your mind.

I’ve done that before,

watched it happen like a using weapon.

the hard part for me right now

is making up my own mind about what is not even a choice,

while the clock is running I can’t take up too much time again.

it’s now or never,

because if don’t make it when I still can,

the indecision will haunt me forever.

-what can I tell myself to make this process faster?

while I have you here

incessantly
I threw a ball against the wall you’d become.
brought in heavy machinery to atleast tear it down.
you told me home is where you were
and I took that to my heart.
the closer, the closer I got
no place came in sight
only obstacles did.
when I exhausted myself
I drew graffiti
the best one I could
and turned my back to you
I never thought I would
but
I really needed to go home.
a home.
I just don’t know where yet.

can I tell you something
(the drawings are back!)

tuckered out

Some mid-week motivation even if it’s only Tuesday today. Happy reading!


don’t think too much about the past or your life, love
time moves forward,
the world moves too fast,
you’ll exhaust yourself catching up.

instead
paint whatever you can,
and write whatever you can’t recall.

do what you want,
like it’s the only system that matters
at the end of the day.

fret not.


(Found the attached photo on WeHeartIt website.)

Wild

I mean it, I do
I do love you.
I love you like…

(like a kid loves a flower and tends to it
who waits for it to bloom but then plucks it.

like a middle-aged woman
who tries to decorate her empty nest
but donates the extra furniture
to get rid of all that emptiness.

like an octogenarian knitting new sweaters with her shaking fingers and fading memory
by unraveling wool from old ones.)

…you think I do.
for everyone, it’s different
sometimes love can become a weakness.

the problem is you love me now
for a wildness that can not be tamed.
you love me in your spilling youth
and right now
even though I’ll never let you see it
all I have is me
right now I can’t share what’s left.

so I tried to experiment with colours here, WILD, right?!

worst-stung heart

it wasn’t like that before,
the thorns on her bleeding heart were new.
he gave her roses,
she put them in her favourite vase,
but like all good things that made her feel special,
the flowers wilted too soon.
the petals formed patterns on the floor,
and the wind blew them away,
nothing remained.

she wore her heart on her sleeve
and kept the arteries in her pocket.

when it was time to throw out the stems and the grungy water,
she got pin-pricks all over her,
stained her perfectly dry-cleaned shirt.

it was a tale as old as time,
as she tried to love someone worlds apart.
that’s how she ended up with a badly stung heart.


The people who can just perfectly draw something on paper or digitally are THE COOLEST people ever. Here’s a little something I drew in the hopes of being that cool.

(The title worst-stung heart is from a prose piece by Mary Oliver in her book Upstream. Due to copyrights, I don’t know if I can include that here.)

Oh dear

Oh dear because I wrote this at 5 AM and with my limited, groggy vocabulary at the time, it turned into a tongue twister. Happy reading!


I don’t do what I say
or mean what I do,
so what does it mean
when I say
I want something to do with you?


there’s a lot to say,
how will you ever know,
if I never tell you.

if you’re reading this,
please feel free
to make it all about you.

after all,
it’s you that I’m writing to,
each word brings me closer to

you.


My apologies for that weird little riddle. Yours sincerely, Aarushi.💟

Viridescent skyline

Crystal clear glass panes gazing back at her with empty eyes, the concrete jungle bustles by whilst her lonesome spirit dies.

Reaching out for the reflective barrier in front of her, a certain numbness travels through her fingertips and makes its way to her soul; dimming the tolerance for mindless city chatter in a flourescent flickering that never sleeps.

Discontent reverberated through her cells, well-versed with the heedless world. Restlessness of the hive and way of life shadowed now, behind her. Cotton-candy clouds underneath, the plane wings splitting through a canopy of white to unveil itself as the thick atmosphere dissipates. Lowering and lowering, the plane wings glide through foreign tree tops, a green she had not yet been blessed to witness.

Stepping into the rustic air, the concrete on which her heels tap reminds her of the past heavier than the luggage she carries on her arm.

From one transport vehicle to the next, she makes her way to the hills. Entranced by the viridescent shimmer of conifers and sprouting weeds, from the pocket of her jeans, she swaps her hand to trace the rough exterior of the trees. None of the city maps could have led her here but she’ll need one to leave. Is that what it’s like to be free?

She lost herself betwixt ever changing leaves, heady among the trees. She wept joyously beneath the wild skies as she saw the stars shining brightly. They shone and debuted stories of ancient times. She pinched herself, she could not live an ordinary life with an undisclosed universe camouflaged from her eyes.

Towing her luggage she knew they wondered why she left, to her but an alien, to them an alien species to her. In this clearing she knew that they were not sharing light, the glaring hive was sharing fears.

– Amber + Aarushi (the Concrete Jungle Liberation squad)


Thank you so much for reading! Writing this was such a great experience, we hope you like this as much as we do. REM-AMBER that Love is the answer!

An eternal promise

You whisper sweet somethings to me when I’m weak,
You do the talking for me when I can’t speak.

The thought of you keeps me company,
I find comfort even in your critique.
Your soul upon mine,
Melds into something unique.

What if love is more than emotions in its entirety?
Maybe love is more than you and me entirely?
The music of your aura is the answer,
The force behind my smile, the dreamy dancer.

You’re still with me no matter my imperfection,
It’s the beauty in the way you stay for my protection.
Maybe we’ll meet in some other dimension,
For now, you’re just my reflection.
Standing in the mirror, revealing who I should be
And loving this version that I see.

I am whole, you were my missing peace,
I see you in me, I hear you within.
Anchor your heart here and leave it down,
You’ll always be there if I ever start to drown.

– Ace + Aarushi (the dreamy dancers)


I’m so excited to present this COLLABOR-ACE-TION with the one and only, Ace.

We had such a fun time writing this, hope you liked it too. Thank you so much for reading!

Back of the line


The world breaks at night, my promises never do,
I would put myself on the line, break the curfew.

I whispered, “I adore you.”
“I don’t need that,” he laughed at me,
At this hour, it’s too late to argue.

Even before coming here, I knew I finally found someone,
My emotional support daydream,
My strength to swim upstream.

I overthink, he says he gets me.
I run away from my problems, so does he.

-ISN’T THAT LOVELY?

unlearning

what should have made me feel free
tied me down with the absence of it.

what should have been an avenue for me to explore
made me feel like i didn’t have a home.

what would have been more room for me to grow
made me feel small and out of place.

what should have been a reminder about living
made me feel hopeless day after day.

what would have been a dream
became distracting.

the blank spaces
the craters
the distance
the indecision
i let it make me feel empty.

Outstanding Blogger Award

Hey everyone. This post is brought to you by Ace. I want to thank him for thinking of me and nominating me for this award. He’s an amazing-awesome-fearless person, a talented writer and an inspiration. If you like poetry, check out his blog! His poems have such an uplifting message of hope and self-love, which I love very much!

Rules are rules are rules:

  1. Provide the link to the creator’s original award post (Colton Beckwith RPC)
  2. Answer the questions provided.
  3. Create 7 unique questions. Nominate 10 bloggers. Ensure that they are aware of their nomination. Neither the award’s creator nor the blogger that nominated you can be nominated.
  4. At the end of 2021, every blog that ping-backs the creator’s original post will be entered to win the 2021 Outstanding Blogger award.

Questions + Answers:

  1. If your life was a movie, what would the title be? – The Pitfalls of Romance.
  2. What’s your favorite song of all time? -My favourite songs change according to my mood but I keep adding Counting Stars by OneRepublic to every playlist I make. I love singing along to it too.
  3. Handwrite or type? – I prefer writing on paper with a blue/black pen. Typing is reserved for venting on a Word document that I can just delete.
  4. What are three things you can’t live without? -My glasses, music and pen+paper.
  5. Do you believe in telepathy? -Yes!
  6. When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush? -Bungee jumping when I was little or when talking to a person I like, heheh.
  7. If there was no internet, do you think the world would be better or worse? -Better when it comes to mental health, I think.

Nominations: (these are some blogs that I absolutely love reading and hope they answer my questions!)

Cait
reindeershermaine
inexhaustiblemuse
Navneet Kumar
Nathi
Rachel
M


My enquiries for the aforementioned people:

1. Movies or books?
2. A piece of advice that you live by…
3. What mythical creature would you want to be and why?
4. Do you play an instrument?
5. What’s your favourite food item to order but not cook?
6. Are you more of a homebody or a wanderer?
7. Do you believe in horoscopes?

Thank you for reading!

kill your darlings

sheilded from the crowd among trees and the shrubs,
it’s a privilege to be sitting by the lake thinking about you,
next to me or in theory,
where we used to look happy.

now
i feel the breeze on my skin where i used to feel you,
i tell my secrets to the waves, the ones i never told you.

when i leave, i hope i know myself better,
when i leave, i hope you decode my love letter.

even if you don’t, atleast now i’m free.


It all started when I had some regrets about my future. Cheers to you for sticking around after that! The feminist part of me went on vacation there for a while. I’m done being all hashtag heartbreak. Let’s refill our glasses with awesome drinks now (milk, if you’re underage) and write about all things that are beautiful in this world. Or atleast try to!

What I wanted

I have a distorted view of the world, I want you to smoothen it out,
Crawl into my spine and straighten it out.
No one has my back, not even me,
I want you to hug me and not leave.

I’ve fed my hands to the worms that live in my pocket,
I can’t hold you.
I don’t know if I can handle your touch on my skin,
I already feel you too much in my bones.

I can’t find my footing,
My knees get weak when I have to speak about you,
My heart bottoms out when I imagine a world without you.

I want you to travel to my brain
and give me some perspective.
I want you to rest on my tongue and vocal cords,
So I can let you out like a scream,
As a final catharsis.

Atleast that was what I wanted.

before you go

you weren’t there today either,
and i know in due time, i’ll have to let that idea go,
it won’t be easy as incorporated into your essence is an essential part of me
that believes in being happy.

before you go, just give me a sign.
will i ever be okay?
you made me so sad, i’m unsure of it.
will you ever walk into my life again and not away?
you were my best muse yet,
as it didn’t hurt as much as it used to.

tell me, i will take your word for it and not twist it,
i promise i’ll not misinterpret it.

So before you go,
Let me know
If I can follow.


Thank you for reading everyone. This is my 150th post on this blog. I’m elated about reaching that number. Thank you for your support, I appreciate it so much. I swear, your encouragement makes me a better writer. Much love.❤️

cosmic co-incidence

then: Anywhere but here
now: you were there


you were there with me to all the places i’d been,

i used to be disappointed by anyone that wasn’t you,

i thought you were the most fascinating and interesting little thing.


My horoscope said that writing too many amateur poetry pieces about one person, will not increase my chances of getting noticed by them especially due to the covid-19 restrictions. And I couldn’t agree more.

I also think that it decreases the probability of accidentally bumping into them at the nearby grocery store. I’m glad that the stars and my brain are in alignment today.

Thank you for stopping by my little corner on the internet. I hope you decide to stay! I’m Aarushi and obviously-going-through-something. ❤️

Fading


Ingrained on my skin were seeds of flowers that you sowed,
But they took weeks, months,
To grow.

I was waiting for nature to take its effect,
I was waiting for something to bloom,
But the reality of you was like a shadow looming over them,
And now I’m starting to see the flaws about their placement.

I’d rather be wrong about everything else,
Than be wrong about you,
But I don’t think I’ll get that chance,
And I’ll be fighting against myself and common sense.

A glimmer of hope takes over me,
And of that, I still can’t let go.
You’re this daydream of an unkempt garden I keep dreaming,
But can never visit.
I know you’re not real,
For ghosts to even exist, shouldn’t I first feel something?

(Bouquets haunt me when I sleep!)


Hey, guys. This piece was like therapy for me or like a shower of rain we wait for on hot, humid, sad, bad days. The part in brackets was meant to be funny, I don’t know if that translated well or not. Even though I’ve definitely felt my feelings the last few weeks, I couldn’t get them down on paper. Maybe I spent all of my creative energy into daydreaming, MAYBE.

Recently, it’s been like someone put my sense of self in a mortar and pestle-d the hell out of it. So ending this with a question felt fitting.

Alternative title: You’re starting to fade and that’s okay

no matter what

what did i want in life so much but didn’t get
that i couldn’t quite move past it
and made it my heaviest regret?

you.

every minute of every month,
in any shape or form,
whether i’m aware of it or not,
i never had you.

i don’t even know how to.

so having said that, are you just going to stand there?

will you ever make the first move?


Plot twist: what if I wrote this about myself?

invisible to you

on the phone, you sound like you’re underwater,
sometimes i want to jump in the pool with you,
or drag you out of the ocean before the tides can swallow you.

in reality, i’m stuck on the other end,
trying to tell you that i just missed you.

i’m
always nearly at the parking lot,
as you drive away,
almost at the elevator,
as the doors shut in my face.

you’re the bane of my existence.
maybe not the true love i longed for,
but the only one i can relate to.

when it comes to you then, why do i feel so deeply misunderstood?


Progressed from Adventure to this. Hope you like it! Thank you for reading.💕

I have jumped, so the next step in this quest of mine is to be seen. 😂 I’ll keep everyone posted on how that goes!

future regrets

maybe i’ll find you in my memories of the ferris wheel.
the first time i sat in that cold metal box, kept warm by a crocheted scarf,
i was dizzy and when i felt my pulse,
it was erratic,
i held on to my seat tightly,
but the ascent and descent made me ecstatic.

i’ll keep looking and my mind will be all over the place.

i’ll find you in my worst fears where you’re a shapeshifter,

in my grief where you’re the one pouring buckets of water on me,

or in the wild moments where i can hear you scream and let go.

maybe i’ll try to fit you in a drawer where i keep the stolen moments
or hide my past,
but i’ll rummage and damage everything,
and i won’t find you.

you’re not for keeping, you know it too. you were long gone and i was soul-searching, no wonder why it all became empty.

treasure trove

do you have a room in your house where you keep the lovely things
that are cherished but b r o k e n
by accident or on purpose
to signify your materialism
but with a sentimental value attached to them
beyond the 4th dimension?

(there might be incomplete pieces of board games from your childhood that hide the wear and tear you had to bear.

there might be shards of glass from your favourite vase that you threw at the wall in frustration but cried about later.

or there might be gifts in there from friends you used to know but don’t fit your life anymore, as they don’t match the decor.)

no?

i don’t either.


Alternative title: distraught and in denial

happy accidents

i want to paint other people now,

i want to sing songs about someone else now.

you’re in every damn photo i take,

i don’t want to camouflage you into anything i make,

for a change.

but just by writing this, you know i can’t.


So this reminded of the pieces I used to write when I was just starting out, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad. Probably the former, even though it’s a little abrupt.

this

words that cut

i can’t look at you when you can’t talk to me,

so i gaze out the window of this first floor café.

a squirrel munches on an orange flower for it’s lunch,

sparrows play hide and seek in the vines that traverse the lawn,

people filter in and out.

a gentleman in a tweed jacket smokes his cigarette,

after two more, he opens the door and warmth escapes the room.

you’re picking out tomatoes from your salad,

my fork and spoon lay untouched.

i pick up my knife and cut the cutlet i ordered in two,

put the half on your plate,

and muster up the courage to say, “I need a break.”

you look relieved but don’t say a word.


I’m the spectator in this story, sitting in the corner with a cup of coffee. I tried to narrate what the person was witnessing in that state of mind via metaphors and subtle signs she was picking up in the room as she asked for what she wanted.

twenty one

i


i’ve bet on a winning horse.
i’ve played high stakes poker with a royal flush.
the slots aren’t fun,
and whenever that little wheel spins, it lands on your lucky number, and then i remember you.
can’t you see i’m bored?
these are games of involuntary solitude.
you know i’ll give up all of them, if you glance at my table like you used to.

ii


who cares what cards we’ve been dealt, i just want you hold them and sit there.
you have such a sweet tell when i call your bluff,
your eyes turn left and you smirk.
you look pretty enough for me to paint in excruciating detail.
i wish i had some memories to guide my brush, if i can ever find the right colours.
the world is one painting short and i care very much.


roulette

(the title twenty one is another name for blackjack, and the attached image is a royal flush from poker)

*interested in this stuff from a mathematical point of view only*

Mosaic memories

This year has been one long day,
And if it’s just us,
All the moments blur into one.

Our unresolved issues,
My unmet expectations
And fights I surfeit,
Compress the space I desperately want,
From the thoughts I don’t really need.

Just when I think we are past that,
Chaos begets chaos,
And with a vengeance,
Our old habits resurface to polarize new beginnings,
Into what’s worth and not.

We fall back on wasted memories like memorabilia,
Hang on tight to albums and dog-eared novellas.
Remnants of words that were once said,
Remain tessellated on tinted windows,
And echo in the close chambers through which we see the future.


This is about how our own fears and negative thoughts can be suffocating for us. I posted this last year but it felt gloomy back then. Still does, but I think my perspective and the connection to this piece has changed.

of men and saints

with me,

love & longing,

they alternate.

i spoke of men, and saints,

and a parade in the rain,

but that turned into a fatal flaw.

to catch up with my feelings,

i need to be someone,

who creates with pen & paints,

for a while.


Hey guys! I was thinking about changing my blog theme. I thought about updating it on New year’s day but I got sick then, and with February approaching, today is the day! I’ve been on WordPress for 2 years now, yay! I made this blog to keep me motivated to write and it’s done just that.

Thank you everyone for your support. The upcoming cheesy rhyme is for you all.

I’m not the best at maths,
But I’m happy with these booming stats.
I’m not good with numbers, but I’m really grateful to the 300 followers.

of pen & paints

& i needed poetry to prove that i am alive,
you sauntered in like my time was yours,
to survive your lackluster life.

letter by letter, words emerged,
and a sentence that read,
“i am fine.”
the dictionary lost its magnitude there for a while.

my inkpot was leaking,
the truth was intimidating,
you diffused yourself into my desultory rhyme.


I love songs that are a bit sad but sound happy, like a melancholic kaleidoscope. I wrote this about the people and other works of art that inspire me.

Thank you so much for reading!

talk of the town

you look like poetry,
everyone told you,
but then i came along
& felt it too.

they said you were special like their favourite song.
travelling with my headphones on,
i never listened to the whispers around,
but then you stood in front of me
& i could hear them clearly.

you wrote to me that i should write down what you tell me,
your thoughts are like lyrics, filled with profundity.
it was the most pretentious thing,
but then i heard you sing.

you just love to prove me wrong, don’t you?

an ache i couldn’t locate

why do i wrap my memories in nostalgia?

they’re filled with pebbles i picked off the ground.

it’s a bias i love to carry.

they’re covered in sunset hues and pink cotton candy clouds, tied with branches that intertwine and grow around town.

why do i put my home in my pocket and take it with me wherever i go?

just to rearrange it when i’m alone or for when i’ve taken off my coat.

why do i make everything about me?

my own
my home
my decorations

my scars that won’t heal
my flowers that keep on dying.

i’m in every photo i see.

all the shelves are full,

i don’t have any space left on me for a gift store.

things are never going to go back to normal,
i’ve really got to stop my crying.

but then

why can’t i do anything…

-aarushi (i kind of love how this one turned out. it’s ten days late, i know i know. happy new year everybody. hope you all are settling into it well, best wishes, much love 🎀)

from a friend

to a friend,

are you okay?

i thought i’d check in

lately you don’t seem like yourself

the spark in your eyes that used to set ablaze the sky seems to have dimmed

you’re making a lot of mistakes and you’re not improving on them like you used to

you don’t even make polite conversation anymore

i know people tend to smile when you falter

but don’t give up

i’m rooting for you

whatever you’re going through, i hope i see you at the end of it all, walking down the hallway, doing fine.

end of the year musings

  • Maintain a balance between the amount of crazy you make the world and then the amount it makes you.

  • You never get enough of what you don’t really want.

  • Don’t take water soluble vitamins i.e. B complex and C with diuretics like coffee.

  • If you can’t spend money on presents, DIY stuff. I can’t believe you didn’t think of this before.

  • Don’t get caught up in the drama of a story. Try to understand the meaning behind it. It’s not ‘things that happened’ as they’re always more than that.

  • Accept what you don’t know.

  • It’s not about the food but the people you share it with.

  • Don’t keep your clothes in a room that has windows. You’ll never change there. Just saying.

  • You can’t care about everything.

instead of being harsh on myself this year, i wrote down some snippets of advice for my future self. some of them are very specific or annoyingly vague or plain obvious, but i hope they serve as a reminder to you to be kind to yourself too.

Meant to feel incomplete

All that time when we were walking,
I wanted to hold your hand in mine,
As your warmth would have been anchoring,
That day, I thought I was going to fly away.


It’s been a tough year and there’s nothing holding me here,
You’ve got a home, not me,
I’m always standing in the shade,
I swear, the overhead canopy just wants me to leave.

The cold air doesn’t freeze my feet,
I’m known to never quit a good deal,
But I plan to make a major move
Do you have a reason for me to stay?
I don’t have a lot left to prove.

Maybe this road remembers me,
Maybe the grass is rooting for us,
But apart from you, I don’t exist,
And I know that’s not good,
So I’m trying not to drown in self-pity,
I want to catch you up on everything,
Because if not with you, I don’t belong in this city.

-Aarushi

Pitfalls of romance

Is it worth the pain when we’re splitting the difference between our past mistakes?

Learning from them is a long process and we have busy lives with so much to unravel and digest.

How long can that last?
You’re sweet when your words drip honey but it’s sickly in excess.

I can’t tell what’s coming next,
Maybe some people don’t go the distance.

It’s like driving off a cliff amidst the harbingers,
Then the crash is fatal to all riding passengers.

To be continued…

-Aarushi

Dream-making

When you don’t tell me about your day,
I’m afraid I won’t be welcomed to stay,
You’ll not ask me the questions,,
I’ll never find answers to,
There will be silence between us once again.

When you move on from this life,
To the bigger places you dream about,
And I’m still unhappy with my life,
There won’t be love in the air or you here next to me.

It took us this long to get somewhere,
Every choice I make or chances I don’t take,
They feel like the death of me.

-Aarushi

“Okay”

I’d given up my possessions,
I wish you’d know, I needn’t say,
Threadbare, here I lay…

I surrender to your view in my eyes,
My throat and your voice.

We can be in a dreamless land,
No questions asked.
Take my hand,
I want to see what’s out there.

Let’s fly, let’s run away
Then we can finally rest.

Let the world know of our homecoming.

-Aarushi (I like to think of this as a conversation between two people, just making confessions as conversation)

I loved your company

We’re both doing so much & I’m proud of us.

With your speed, you run away from me
With your strength, you drive an axe between us
With your humour, you tell me you’re trying
With your power, you tell me you’re better off
With your control, you tell me I’ve got it all wrong.

With your actions, I sense that it’s the end of a bittersweet saga.

I might spend my life running away from people like me,
But thanks to you, I learnt to share,
If I take the blame when you put it,
It has to be 50/50
Before we part ways.

So with my determination, I put this all behind me.

-Aarushi (a more direct piece this time)

See ya in October!

Mystery Blogger Award

thank you Wardah for nominating me for this. you’re an amazing writer and i am just mesmerized by how you put together such simple yet alluring poems. to everyone reading this, check out her blog, it’s so worth it. get to know her more through her q/a posts. read her poetry, she’s so talented.

Rules

  • Display the award logo on your blog.
  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Mention Okoto Enigma, the creator of the award.
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
  • Answer 5 questions from the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 10 – 20 bloggers.
  • Notify your nominees by leaving a comment on their blog.
  • Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice, including 1 weird or funny question.
  • Share the link to your best post.

3 facts about me:

  1. i am studying dentistry. if not this, i would have studied zoology.
  2. i love reading, painting, dancing etc. even though i rarely make time for these things and end up writing most of the times.
  3. i love jokes but i take everything too seriously.

My best post:

all of my posts here are very close to my heart and personal to some degree. i recently completed a 100 posts here, so out of that if i had to pick my favourite, it would be: Hearsay

  1. What was the best day of your life so far? -that would be when i went to a wildlife sanctuary with my family and i got to spend the whole day there, just looking at the biodiversity.
  2. What’s the most important thing COVID-19 taught you? -self-reliance, i am still learning that even after 6 months of this solitude.
  3. If you had to spend one day as an inanimate object, what would you choose and why? -i would be a clock on a good day. those days where time flies by but you still remember every moment. you look at the clock wishing there was more time left. that clock would be me, i’d want someone to look at me that way. even inanimate objects have some life to them, so yeah. i probably don’t make any sense.
  4. Have you ever almost died? If so, share your story! -once i crossed the road too fast and just milliseconds later a car rushed behind me. i was so scared. the light was green for pedestrians, i didn’t see it coming.
  5. Do you believe aliens exist? -they have to, okay? they have to. life only existing on earth is too lonely of a concept. biology is just too amazing to not to be applicable universally.

nominees (i have nominated some people i would love to read more content from, i hope you all answer these questions, i know i am excited to read the answers)

HannahModest MotionsLion’s Roar

questions:

  1. who is your favorite person in this world and why?
  2. what did you want to be when you grow up?
  3. do you love fiction? if so, why?
  4. what is a good habit you’re proud of repeating?
  5. what mythical creature would you want to be and why?

If you’re new here, welcome! I am Aarushi and I write poetry. Check out the post I mentioned here and other recent ones. Don’t forget to send some love Wardah’s way too. Thanks so much for reading!

Sunshine Blogger Award #2

I am soaking up all that sunshine from this second nomination. Thank you so much to the lovely Wardah for that. Her blog is my declared favourite corner of the internet and once you open it, it will be yours too, I promise. Also, her pen name means rose in Arabic. How pretty is that? Very. Let’s get started with the Q/A but not without some rules first.

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you.
  • Remember to list the rules and indicate your award nomination by including the logo.
  • Answer the questions that has been given to you.
  • Nominate 11 bloggers who inspire you (or as many as you can).
  • Make a new list of 11 questions for your nominees (please keep them interesting and as interactive as you can think of, so everyone involved can enjoy this process).

my answers:

  1. What do you do before you go to bed? -brush my teeth and put in eye drops, it’s a very boring routine to put me to sleep.
  2. What is the best part of the WordPress community? -i started this blog over a year ago, posting on wordpress has kept me motivated. reading and being surrounded by other creative people is the best part. blogs are so helpful, insightful and have opened up a new world for me.
  3. Do you prefer the morning, afternoon, or night? -definitely a night owl when i have had coffee in the afternoon. i write down most of my ideas at that time too.
  4. What’s your favorite dessert? -just sugar in general, honestly. i have such a sweet tooth despite studying dentistry.
  5. What is the best gift you’ve ever received? -my sweet, sweet books. it’s a gift that keeps on giving.
  6. What is the best way to cheer you up when you’re down? -very easy. just tell me a joke. i try to laugh reluctantly at first but then give in.
  7. Have you ever almost died? -sort of. we all have this type of story, no?
  8. What is your first memory? -i can’t recall them chronologically. so there might be a few first memories. they’re images that play in my head sometimes, like riding the bus to preshool or eating chocolate for the first time.
  9. Fruits or vegetables? -tomatoes.
  10. What is the best place in the world? -home, definitely, wherever that is.
  11. Do you like surprises? -i love them! i love planning them, coming up with more ideas and executing them. i get too impatient when someone plans them for me though.

nominees:

Anjali @anjaliutters

Pendullum @Poetry-in-motion

Rachel @Patient & Kind

my questions:

  1. What is the most exciting thing in your life currently?
  2. What inspires you to write?
  3. What are the things you like about yourself? Name as many as you can.
  4. What is the hardest thing in a friendship?
  5. What are three things you can’t live without?
  6. Something you want to change about the world…
  7. Your favourite birthday memory…
  8. Things/people you make time for…
  9. Name something people should appreciate more, a skill, art, person etc.
  10. Books that you would read again and why?
  11. A project that you would like to start in the future…

If you’re new to my blog, welcome! I’m Aarushi and I write poetry about topics like hope, mental health and much more. If you wish to, leave a greeting here and at Wardah’s page. Thank you so much for reading!

Overwritten

I have been watching a lot of movies lately. Some aspects of a particular genre really bother me. Romantic comedies are light hearted but all of them send a unanimous message about our expectations from life, the way we form bonds and the overwritten importance given to chance encounters. I wrote this to comment on that. Recently there has been a shift in telling these stories, they’re more focused on female friendships (eg: Bridesmaids, Booksmart) and a greater meaning in life. Also, a more realistic depiction of the happy-ever-after concept, which is just so amazing and a much needed change.

Warrior, for here … is an unusual rhyme, but it works right? This is a short poem, more posts coming soon. If you’re new to my blog welcome! I write about hope, mental health and much more in the form of poetry, I hope you like it. Thank you so much for reading!

-Aarushi (loves caramel popcorn)

Fixate

The hardest thing I’ve had to do
Was care about something other than you.

Even when I was stranded,
I would lie on the grass next to you,
With nothing better to do,
Hoping the clouds give us a clue.

You are the ground I stand upon,
But also the reason I want to fly.
I wish I could grab opportunities that I did not
When you consumed all my thoughts and made them yours.

That neighborhood was good enough,
It was nice of me to stay,
So I never left,
But I wish you asked me to,
Even once,
I would have found a new way.

-Aarushi (I wrote this about how our comfort zones can be very limiting for us. Trying new things without someone pushing us can be very hard.)

Deer in the headlights

Did you know that the word Race Car is a palindrome? Did you know that in olden times, horse driven carriages used to pass through parkways and now we park on driveways?

There’s certain words a person can only use so much, with this I think I have exhausted my quota of using the words crash and car. It doesn’t paint a pretty picture, I know. This metaphor kept circling in my mind, I thought about it as I was walking on the asphalt road with white cars zooming past me. I wrote it down as soon as I got home.

This post is brought to you by Go-Get-Your-Driver’s-License-Already.

See ya in September!

-Aarushi (only has a learner’s permit)

Every other moment

In quarantine I turned to look inwards, and found joy in the little things of a routine or lack thereof. As we get adjusted to this new normal and aspects of the world open up again, the expectations from before remain the same. This week I tried to get back to my old mindset, so I could perform for the moments and tried to resist this massive change. But I couldn’t.

-Aarushi

For someone other than myself

Sometimes I think that we still live in a world where expressing our grief is considered an exaggeration. I wrote this about what goes on in my mind when I have stressful, confusing, bad days. In times like these I’m grateful for the Internet and pages/posts online that share ideas about a positive outlook on life, even when I can’t talk to someone face to face.

-Aarushi

Four, Three, Two, O n e

Acting on a whim, I jumped in the cab with you,
Our lives touched at midnight but never saw the light of day.
I was headed one stop away,
I would have let you in, if you asked me where I lived,
But you said my street meant goodbye.

Tired and home, I greet my empty bowl of keys,
I never know what these things mean.

Following nights I stayed up late, didn’t I?
That same time and thought about the car ride,
Your tousled hair and rolled up jacket sleeves,
Confetti stuck to your skin,
A soft brush therein,
Minute enough to be missed.

I look for you in restaurants,
Retro bars playing new songs
And the morning traffic
Like a bad habit.

Won’t you meet me in the afternoon?
We’ll re-create the magic of mistletoe,
If we close our eyes, it’s always night somewhere
And a party everywhere.

-Aarushi