future regrets

maybe i’ll find you in my memories of the ferris wheel.
the first time i sat in that cold metal box, kept warm by a crocheted scarf,
i was dizzy and when i felt my pulse,
it was erratic,
i held on to my seat tightly,
but the ascent and descent made me ecstatic.

i’ll keep looking and my mind will be all over the place.

i’ll find you in my worst fears where you’re a shapeshifter,

in my grief where you’re the one pouring buckets of water on me,

or in the wild moments where i can hear you scream and let go.

maybe i’ll try to fit you in a drawer where i keep the stolen moments
or hide my past,
but i’ll rummage and damage everything,
and i won’t find you.

you’re not for keeping, you know it too. you were long gone and i was soul-searching, no wonder why it all became empty.

12 Comments

  1. wardah says:

    Your imagery is perfect, Aarushi. I love how you captured those feelings of nostalgia and wistfulness so well. It definitely makes me feel like missing someone. Beautiful 🥺🖤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aarushi says:

      Thank you so much, wardah ❣️❣️❣️ I wrote it missing someone I never even had, if that makes sense

      Liked by 1 person

  2. caitpoetry says:

    Wow Aarushi, this is just so beautifully written and the imagery is extraordinary! Much love and hope that you are doing well ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aarushi says:

      Thank you, Cait 💞💞 much love to you too. I’m well, how are you?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ace says:

    Beautiful beautiful piece Aarushi! Glad to have you back, missed you friend ✨! Keep shining 🖤🖤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aarushi says:

      I missed you and your wonderful writings too! Thank you so much for your support and kindness, Ace❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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